.Editor's Keep in mind: The complying with is the content of a character from Trip Three Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reviewing the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created quite regarding specifics of this particular goal during the course of the month I've been listed below, generally for pair of causes: the initial being that there has been actually quite little opportunity to carry out that kind of composing, and also since I am actually uncertain exactly how relaxed I am sharing ideas I show friends and family with the rest of the world.Well, clearly the globe modified today. What I state or do is quite small contrasted to the value of what took place to our nation today when it was assaulted by ... by whom? Terrorists is actually all we understand, I reckon. Tough to know at whom to route our rage as well as fear ...I had simply finished an amount of jobs this morning, the most lengthy being the physical examinations of all staff participants. In an exclusive talk complying with that, the air travel doctor told me they were actually having an incredibly negative time on the ground. I had no suggestion ...He described the circumstance to me as best he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually amazed, after that frightened. My initial notion was that this wasn't a genuine conversation, that I was still listening to among my Tom Clancy strips. It simply really did not seem achievable on this incrustation in our country. I could not even imagine the details, even before the news of additional devastation began can be found in.Vladimir came fairly rapidly, sensing that something quite major was actually being actually explained. I swung Michael into the component as well. They were actually also astonished and stunned. After our team signed off, I tried to describe to Vladimir as well as Michael as greatest I might the possible immensity of the act of fear in downtown Manhattan and also at the Government. They accurately understood and also were actually incredibly considerate.I eyed the Planet Chart on the computer to see where over the planet we were and observed that our team were happening southeast away from Canada as well as will be overlooking New England in a couple of minutes. I whized around the station until I found a window that would offer me a perspective of NYC and got the local electronic camera. It took place to become a video camera, as well as I was looking south from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to be to have a weird bloom to it at the base of the pillar that was actually streaming south of the city. After going through among the news articles we just got, I think our experts were actually checking out NY around the amount of time of, or even shortly after, the collapse of the 2nd tower. Just how terrible ...I scanned the cam the whole time the East Coast to the south to observe if I might view every other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, but absolutely nothing was visible.It was actually quite hard to deal with work afterwards, though we possessed some to carry out, however on the following orbit our experts traversed the United States further south. All 3 people were functioning a couple of cams to try to obtain perspectives of The big apple or even Washington. There was actually haze over Washington, however no particular source could be observed. All of it looked amazing from a couple of hundred miles away. I can't envision the tragic settings on the ground.Apart from the mental impact of our country being dealt with as well as countless our consumers and maybe some pals being killed, the absolute most mind-boggling feeling being actually where I am actually is just one of solitude.Following day ... I reckon the tiredness and also mental stress obtained the most effective of me. I couldn't remain awake and continue to compose. Today was still tough, yet we started acquiring additional relevant information, plus our company had the honor of speaking straight with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, who ensured us that the ground staffs will continue to operate and also ensure our safety, and also the risk-free operation of the Place. Our team additionally talked to our Manager, Mr. Goldin, who added that the partners in the Course are actually all entirely devoted to proceeding safe procedures and also help. These were actually never ever concerns for me. I understand all these folks! The ground groups have actually been extremely encouraging, extremely understanding of the influence of the updates, and also have tried to be as handy as feasible. They have all been actually extremely professional as well as focused though I can not visualize the disturbance of this particular type of news coming in as well as the notion that government buildings could be in danger. They certainly never missed a beat, also when relocating nerve center. And a group of senior personnel as well as buddies provided our company a fairly complete rundown about what was known and also what was being actually done in the federal government as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was incredibly beneficial as well as type of all of them to carry out in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has actually also been supportive as well as practical, making an effort to uplink news articles when our personal possessions were actually unusable, and also stating kind terms ...My crewmates have actually been actually excellent, also. They recognize it is actually been a challenging day for me as well as the individuals on the ground, as well as they have actually tried to become as even keeled as well as practical as achievable. Michael also fixed me my favored Borscht soup for supper. And they offer me loads of space to presume when I needed it. They are actually quite thoughtful and certainly shocked at whoever will perform this.I recognize numerous folks in Washington, a lot of people who travel to DC as well as New York City, plenty of that are actually captains, that I felt sure I will obtain a minimum of a handful of items of bad news over the upcoming handful of times. I received the initial one today when I found out that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that reached the Government was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I found Chic throughout cadet summer season when we resided in the D&B together, and our experts possessed tons of lessons all together. I can not imagine what he should of looked at, and right now I listen to that he might possess increased better than our company can even think about by potentially stopping his aircraft coming from being actually the one to deal with the White Home. What a terrible reduction, but I make certain Chic was dealing with bravely to the end. And also rips do not stream the same precede ...It is actually challenging to define exactly how it really feels to be the only United States fully off the world at once such as this. The sensation that I must be there with every one of you, managing this, assisting in some way, is actually mind-boggling. I recognize that our company are on the limit (or even beyond) of an awful change in the past of the planet. Lots of traits will never be the same again after September 11, 2001. Not just for the thousands as well as thousands of folks directly had an effect on through these horrendous process of terrorism, but perhaps for all of us. We will certainly locate our own selves feeling differently regarding lots of factors, including probably area expedition, regrettably.It's horrible to observe smoke pouring from wounds in your very own nation coming from such a superb viewpoint. The duality of performing a space capsule dedicated to boosting daily life on the planet as well as viewing life being destroyed through such premeditated, awful acts is jolting to the psyche, despite who you are actually. And the knowledge that every little thing are going to be actually various than when our team introduced by the time our company land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation and also in our management that we are going to perform every little thing possible to far better guard her and our families, and to take compensation wherefore has been actually done. I have self-confidence that the good individuals at NASA will perform every thing necessary to proceed our purpose properly and return us safely and securely at the right time. As well as I miss all of you significantly. I can not be there along with you face to face, and our experts have a long way to visit complete our goal, yet be actually particular that my heart is with you, and recognize you remain in my prayers.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final character ... Luckily, it's been actually a hectic full week up here. And to show that, like our country, our company are actually advancing our designated road along with company customarily (as much as achievable). Tonight the current enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will definitely be introduced from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US opportunity), it is going to dock along with our team, at a port never utilized prior to on the nadir edge of the Service Module. This new element will give our company another spot to dock an Improvement or Soyuz and will give a large airlock with pair of able to be used hatches for conducting EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which our company are going to carry out a few of prior to our company return.The complication prior to in dealing with this week was actually inadequate headlines. The complication now is actually a lot of. It came at one time when e-mail was rejuvenated, and also there's not nearly enough time to read everything! Plus it's also hard to manage all of it at the same time. But I cherish receiving it, and I really cherish the great letters of support and also relationship I am acquiring.Our team are doing well aboard, getting our work carried out, as well as discussing traits. Final night our team had a long dialogue over supper concerning the value of these activities, the feasible actions to observe, and what must be done. After dinner, Michael resolved informing me that every e-mail he received coming from good friends in Russia claimed primarily to tell me just how regretful they were that this occurred, expanding their condolences, as well as talking to exactly how I was actually carrying out. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "condolences" after talking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star City. (Both the Russian as well as the English terms are actually considerably too lengthy to pronounce conveniently.) Very type folks.For the last two days, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to send real-time shows of radio updates regarding the activity and affiliated accounts, to make certain I was actually well educated. Every expert that has actually begun the line to talk about an operation or even a complication contends some aspect expanded greetings to me along with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom told our company that as a result of the wedding day of remembrance in the US, throughout the day individuals had actually been delivering flowers as well as edging all the wall structures of the United States consulate in Moscow, and this evening they were actually igniting candle lights in the road outside the embassy. How the planet has actually modified.Folks just about everywhere seem to recognize the senselessness and also horror in this strike. And the enormous reduction. Moscow has dealt with these sort of troubles in the last few years along with condo as well as train battles, so they are actually as nervous to do away with this danger as our team are actually. Yet all-time low collection is that there are really good individuals almost everywhere that wish to live in calmness. I check out that a little one asked, "United States is thus great to various other nations, our team consistently help every person, exactly how can they hate our company a great deal?".I really hope the instance of participation as well as count on that this space probe and all the people in the program display daily will sooner or later motivate the rest of the planet to function similarly. They must!Unfortunately, our team won't be actually flighting over the United States during the time individuals are actually lighting candlesticks. Do not know if our team might observe that anyhow. Our company carried out, having said that, see a quite unique as well as gorgeous attraction a couple of moments ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz enhancer. We were actually overtaking it and also it appeared regarding three moments after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunlight attacked our station, so it was still at night. It looked like a sizable comet with a directly, vast rear silhouetted versus the darker planet beneath. Even with some bad illumination for a while as the sunshine reached our home window at a reduced viewpoint, I dealt with some online video of it as initially we passed the spacecraft, and after that watched it start to catch up as it obtained altitude and speed. I shot until principal motor cutoff and booster splitting up occurred just like our experts came close to sunrise on the Himalayas. An extraordinary sight in a memorable full week ...Life takes place, also in space. We're below to stay ... Frank.